“Here, the loveliest most beautiful apple you’ll ever have,” Steve says.
Steve is an aquaintance. I know him enough to know him enough.
“You didn’t say the tastiest,” I say.
“If you don’t want it.”
I couldn’t refuse. I hadn’t eaten in four months. And I was in the middle of a massive field in the middle of county Nowhere.
It looks…so…beautiful. If there were a Fruit Hall of Fame this apple would hang in the Delicious Wing. It’s almost to good to eat. But then there’s this thing about the four months of no food. So I take a bite. Not a big one. Not a small one. A just right one. The just right one isn’t always the best choice. But it is always just right.
“Heyyy, that is a tasty tasty apple. Sweet and juicy. Not too sweet. Not too juicy. Good call.”
“That you did, my acquaintance.”
I take another bite. Yum. Yum. I am looking forward to spending a lot of quality time with this apple.
A third bite. Can this get any better?
A fourth. It just did.
A fifth. Ow! Ow! Ow! OW! What was that?! Something’s coming out of my mouth and it’s not saliva. A finger touch reveals…blood!
“Dude, blood is flowing from your mouth,” says Steve.
“Thank you Captain Obvious.”
I check out the apple. No razor blade just a really sharp piece of pulp. Do I take another bite? The blood is pouring from my mouth and it’s sore like a son-of-a-bitch. Hmmm. How can I condemn an entire apple over one painful bite? It’s a complicated apple. It’s got dimension.
Big bite. Yuch! Ugh! Pugh! The worst taste ever. It’s like I bit into a rotting corpse. I look down at the apple and see a couple of maggots crawl out. Disgusting! Just yech disgusting! It looked so beautiful!
Need to take another bite to confirm. Yech! Peh! I spit out a couple of maggots.
Okay, one more. I mean, it was such a beautiful apple. I can still see it’s perfect shape, vivid colour, captivating stem.
I chomp down. Yechhhh! Ugh!!!!
Another bite. Uch! The worst! Although you kinda get used to the maggots. They’re like squirrely Nibs.
I keep eating. My teeth fall out. My gums redden and rot. It's such a lovely and beautiful apple. How can this be? The pain must be some kind of illusion. The sweet and juicy taste will return on the next bite. I'm sure of it. So I continue eating.
Along the way I make friends with one of the maggots. He sits on my shoulder. I call him Mark. He calls me Adam. The little guy has difficulty with the letter 'l'.