THE COMFORT ZONE

"The reason you're stuck.." Violet says. "...you spend too much time in your comfort zone."

Violet is a friend. She scares me.


"I walk around feeling uneasy, dislocated and alienated. Is this my comfort zone?” I say.


"That's your comfort zone…”


“It feels uncomfortable."


“The uncomfortable is your comfort zone."


"So outside of my comfort zone. How am I supposed to feel?"


 "Uncomfortable," Violet says.


“I already feel uncomfortable. So I’m always out of my comfort zone. Job done.” I say.


“You feel uncomfortable with the comfortable which makes you feel uncomfortable. You need to feel uncomfortable without the comfortable which will make you feel uncomfortable in a different way. You need to rezone your comfort zone.”


"...rezone for..." 


"...the uncomfortable..." she says.


"...which is what I already feel..."


"...which is your comfort zone..."


"...of course...”


“…exactly...”


“Do you think everyone has a comfort zone?” I say.


“Yes.”


"...so you mean...okay...so how about…people in the camps like Aushwitz what was their comfort zone? Because it probably wasn't very comfortable."


"Are you comparing yourself to the people in the camps? You’re uncomfortable. They’re uncomfortable. I should smack you.”


“You are forbidden from applying The Smack.”


“It would get you out of your comfort zone.”


“It would hurt.”


“How about just once. On the fat part of the cheek,” she says.


“Are you saying I’m fat?”


“You make things up. Everybody has a fat part of the cheek,” Violet says.


“What about the people in the camps? I’ve seen pictures. No fat part.”


“Now I’m gonna smack you. Ready?”


“We’re in a crowded Starbucks.”


“Here it comes.”


“I’ll leave.”


“It’s on it’s way," she says.


“Okay, no. Stop.”


“How do you feel?”


“Extremely anxious and stressed.”


“Which is out of your comfort zone.”


“…of merely anxious and stressed.”


“The smacking hand rests. Mission accomplished.”


We finished our coffees in silence. Violet leaves. She has to go study. I call my therapist. Ask if she can squeeze me in. For another session. Today.