An uneasy new trend has infiltrated the business
world from the dating world. I refer to the act of ghosting - cutting off
communication with someone without letting them know.
Just two weeks ago I was ghosted by a
long-time client and, it left me more than a little confused.
What goes through the mind of a ghoster
when they choose not to respond to, say, a follow up phone call, or email? It's
a question anybody who has ever been ghosted wonders. It's a question I had to
get to the bottom of.
And the only way I could do so would be
to ghost myself.
I was taking a huge risk entering the
mind of a ghoster. It might bring me to places I might not be able to come back
from. But I had to do it. For the good of my sanity.
So, I call up myself and arrange for a
lunch on the premise that I have a project I'd like to hire myself for. After a
bit of back and forth we settle on a time and place.
The day arrives. Myself shows up, a
whisk early. He's a real keener, I note. We discuss a project, possible
deliverables, and timelines. I ask myself to send over writing samples. Then we
go our separate ways, together.
The next day the samples arrive. I don't
look at them because I'm busy on a Very Important Project, re-arranging my
fridge magnets into the shape of a chest freezer.
I don't get to the samples until the
following day. Meh. I'm not impressed. Myself isn't right for the project, I conclude.
Now that's done I go back to work on another Very Important Project, cleaning
out my veggie crisper using a pair of alligator forceps, a bottle of Nose Tork smelling
salts and a book of Psalms.
The following day, while I’m in the
middle of parking my hope on the road of despair, I receive a follow up email from
myself politely asking if I'd had a chance to read over his samples. I ignore
it. Why tell myself the bad news? Nobody wants to hear bad news, right? Right?!
A week later, I'm diligently at work on
yet another Very Important Project, verifying the thread count of my pima
cotton sheets, when I receive a second follow up email from myself. Hey, just
wondering if you've had a chance to look over my samples. Well, myself, I have
and I'm not impressed. I've already started the process of looking for another
writer. I don't tell myself that. I just don't respond. Myself will get the
message.
One week after that, I receive a third
follow up from myself. It's cheerful and upbeat. Myself reiterates his
qualifications and expresses how excited he is looking forward to working with
me. The flattery is nice to hear. But there's no way I can respond. I've
already moved on from myself. I'm looking forward. Making plans. Life is about
the future! And I'm living it!
And that's when it hit me. I was
ghosting myself and, you know, I never felt better.
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