VIOLET SMILES

Violet was in a mood. I know this because she was smiling. When Violet smiles...

We were at Starbucks beside a table of chatty office workers.

They weren't safe.

I had to warn them.

So I crab walked my chair over. "Hi. My name's not important to you but you should all know that you are in danger of having your faces ripped off by that woman." On the word 'that' I pointed at Violet. They glanced over. She was smiling, sipping coffee, reading the New Yorker.

"Yes she's smiling...now... but that's what I mean.  Here's how it will play out. She will rip your faces off and not give them back. You will have to leave Starbucks without a face. It's 3 in the afternoon. You're probably going back to work. It'd be kind of embarrassing to show up at the office without a face. You will still have your genitals but what good is that if you don't have a face? Just giving you a heads up. The coffee here tastes burnt don't you think?"

Violet asked me what I was doing talking to a table of chatty office workers. "I was telling them about your smile," I said.

Violet smiled. I had about 9 seconds.

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